Catching up on the hugs

Here's an experiment for all the parents. Try going just a day or maybe two without touching your kids, not even when you hand them something or walk by them - no hugs or kisses, no touching at all. It really is a bizarre thing. That's how it has been with us and Coleman for months.

I have failed to mention that over the last few weeks, my ability and now our ability to touch Coleman has come back. Now I can actually put my arms around him and hug him - no more "scarecrow hugs" as we called them, when we stretched our arms out straight to the side to make sure we didn't touch Coleman when he tried to hug us. - It's just so strange and such an odd habit to have to develop. I am catching up on giving him all the affection I have been storing away for months.

This symptom is common for PANDAS - strep in the blood - one of Coleman's first hurdles. It's also the illness that made him afraid for us to leave him. Ironically, the inability to be touched also lines up with Lyme so take your pick...I do. Spencer is so conditioned not to touch his brother that I've noticed he hasn't gotten his nerve up yet to touch him.

Touch is such a wordless communication - something you feel so strongly with someone you love. It seems like talking to plants and watching them grow. It reminds me of the stories my friends who have adopted tell me about their children being smaller when they got them because they had not been touched. I guess like anything else, we don't know how important it is, especially with our kids, until it's gone.

The last couple of days mark two full weeks on antibiotics and we all agree that there is a very slight improvement in Coleman. In his coloring, in his upper body strength and in his involvement. Today didn't seem quite the same - he seemed more tired. We had a rough night as the storms passed through and the thunder and lightening sent bolts down my spine and I don't even have hyper sensitive hearing. Tonight, the planes are quiet, the frogs are croaking and I don't hear any thunder rolling in the distance...which is why I'm going to cut off this computer and keep my comrade company until he drifts off into hopefully a much more peaceful sleep than last night.

For fun, count how many times you touch your kids today and then touch them a bunch more...just because you can. I truly believe there is healing in touch.