Another Sunday

I have to confess that yesterday I was feeling defeated. It's tough to be in this spot and its tougher truly because everyone has an opinion and I want to hear them all. Its all about perspective and most everything I hear even if its off track, makes me consider something we may have missed.

The part of me that wants things done now is afraid that would mean attempted hospitalization with no results while the part of me that hopes he is stable here worries that he's getting sicker still while we wait for test results.

In my mother's gut I hope for test results for Lymes and Bartonella this week and if they are positive, we move forward with the appropriate meds. My prayer is that this could be done here. My dear second parents from childhood are the Styles and today we picked up their in home medical bed that has made all the difference in comfort for Coleman. He is so glad he can raise himself up without us having to move him and even more happy that he doesn't have to make the nauseous trip upstairs when Jeff carries him.

I can truly say that the homeopathics have calmed him this weekend. He is quiet and we frequently tell him he's our hero when he says otherwise. He asks me daily why this is happening to him. That's a tough question and I tell him so he can tell others his story and how God is preparing him for something special in life.

My mind is with my mother tonight as she is spending the night where her mother stays. They called she and my aunt in this evening because they feel Grandma's time is close. Hospice came in today and I know that my mom is about 30 miles away lying near her mother with the same worried mother's heart I have. I hope she is taking inventory of her mother's life and taking comfort in the fact that her mother is soon to end her pain. The most fascinating thing about Grandma is her amazing mental faculties right up until now. The things she remembers stagger most of us. I hope we are all having good memories of Grandma tonight.

Coleman told me he couldn't take it if something happened to Grandma now. Only God has that timing in hand and as He worked it, most all (if not all) of her children have been in to see her this week.

My heart is also with my cousin Pam, I woke with her on my mind last night several times. She had her first round of chemo and was taken back to the hospital with complications. I pray her body can handle the treatment and she is back in the saddle soon. One of my uncles said that he felt Satan was attacking our family. There are moments I can't disagree.

Tomorrow starts another working medical week. Today I wrote a letter to Coleman's primary care physician bringing him up to date since he's been out of town and I hope I have chosen the correct words to make him an ally in this situation.

Do Your Best
Prepare for the Worst
Trust God for the Victory.

Goodnight to all.