Good Little Things

Did you ever notice how when you share a relationship with someone you care about very much, your total outlook on life can hinge on how that person feels and responds to your feelings? Today I was more than content but happy, truly happy. Unshowered but happy, unprepared but happy, unable to complete a third of the tasks I needed to but happy, unaware of the weather but happy, unplugged and happy.

I realized about halfway through the day that the reason I was feeling better was because Coleman was. He had a day where he was in good spirits and clear in his thoughts and aware of his progress. Maybe he felt better because of some things he got off of his chest last night.

He and I talked for well over an hour alone in the den with the lights out and he talked about so many of the things he has been through in the last few months. He has a tough time accepting some of the decisions doctors made and some of the ways he was misunderstood. He talked through a lot of them and I realize this has to happen on his own time, when he is ready. It's simply my job to listen and to support - not to correct or excuse anything.

The in home counselor came by to talk with me today and we both hope that Coleman will be able to talk with her soon, but she is more careful than me about timing. She feels we have one chance to do this right and earn his trust and ability to accept another person into his life. I think if she keeps coming by every week, he'll know how comfortable I am with her and eventually make a place for her. For now, he says he wants to talk with his dad and me and we're always ready to listen.

Grace and Mercy - two words that I never studied much growing up - at least not in a personal way and they are now words that I live by and I'm grateful for the way they write themselves on my doorpost every single day.