On Thursday, Spen and I gave Coleman a teaspoon of the sedation medicine and told him goodnight - soon he was singing about cabbages and rhyming everything. Can I confess quietly that it was good to hear him laugh? So in about an hour he was really groggy, but that was it - we added the anxiety med and a bit more groggy, but soon he was eating pizza...We added another small dose and he finally slept for ONE, count it, ONE hour.
Today we tried plan B - more of a sleeping med. We were supposed to take it on an empty stomach, but just couldn't make that work in our schedule at all, especially at the rate he is growing and eating. So again, I had a quite buzzed young man who walked around a bit in a sleepy sort of awake but not awake state. He did sleep some, but not enough to make the flight or check out from the noise.
Jeff and I were talking through our approach for Monday and I think we have a plan in mind. After that, it's up to God and the angels that sit on the wings of that King Air that will so graciously fly us to Kansas City.
I don't want to experiment any more. Coleman needs a good day tomorrow. Physically he has been doing better and I do think the therapy we're doing has made a marked difference. There is clearly such an emotional component to Coleman's cognitive impairment and we're trying to help him work through that.
I was just writing a letter to my cousin encouraging her to try natural remedies for her cancer especially after so much chemotherapy. This said from a woman who has applauded homeopathy as her son's lifesaver. Never mind that she's getting on a plane to take her son to a doc who will drip IV antibiotics in him twice daily...never say never I guess. I do feel that drugs are a necessity for Coleman's type of bacteria and co infections but I don't feel like they will actually cure him. I think that comes from what we do after the drugs do some heavy lifting, but hey, I've been wrong before.
Believe it or not there are two suitcases with clothes in them tonight. It's odd packing for such a long time and for a weather change all the while cramming it into one suitcase. I realized today that there are only two pieces of clothing in Coleman's wardrobe that still fit him. I am certain he's added three inches during this illness and he weighs in at 125 lbs right now. He hasn't worn anything but shorts and t-shirts for so long, I had very little I could pack. Nothing fits him now, not shoes, not button up shirts, not underwear. I guess it will be easy enough to pick up stuff as we need it in KC.
Spencer and I swam a little bit today and there is one vision as a mom that has been my favorite through the years and that is being at the bottom of a crystal clear pool and looking up to see Spen's face with goggles, puffed out cheeks and his hair floating. He always smiles in the water because it's his favorite place. Today I was looking up at him and I could see the fractured tree line and the blue sky behind his face and if I could have stopped that moment and taken it in for an hour, I would have. Well, I would have been dead by that time, but what a way to go. Oh, to squeeze that youngin' into my overloaded suitcase. This part hurts.
As torn and melancholy as I feel about this move, I am certain it is right and I'm ready to go. Admittedly, any room besides this den would help lift my spirits, but this den has been where we have spent the better part of a year and I hope to come back to it with a different young man.
Thank you all for the posts, the emails, the texts, the calls - they help so much. To my neighbors who raffled for us, what a touching thing to do - the next time I'm walking this neighborhood, I hope to have Coleman by my side. Your generosity will help so much. To the Pullers - thanks so much again and Lydia we'll pray for you as well. I wish I had known to be more helpful to you during this time. Hopefully you'll be running laps around your house when we get back. To Robin - your words were uplifting and so is your friendship, thanks for remembering us. To my folks - does your generosity every stop? Thankfully you're cooking doesn't - what an awesome send off meal tonight. I am so thankful for all the errands and understanding. I plan to bring Coleman back to all his grandparents as soon as I can.
I'll update tomorrow - then we'll be headed out...just felt my stomach turn when I typed that. I'm certain it's nerves...or maybe gas.
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